MammaShop Mia!

The wait is over, because once I got back from Workshop I finally had the time to finish the music video we filmed while on Kibbutz Chadar Ochel. It's set to what became truly the anthem of Workshop 63: Mamma Mia by ABBA. Filmed by Matan, video editing by Max and Harry.

Overshop

Now that Workshop has nearly come to an end, it's time to reflect on the past and look to the future. We are asking ourselves questions like: What did we learn? What did we actually do? Why are there so few picture of Kvutsah 3? Why was such a large portion of our Kupah (cash) spent on Menchies?

As for the future, of course madrichim (parents) and chanichim (children) will inevitably ask us if we would recommend Workshop as a gap year program. So we preemptively made a pro and con table so people can conveniently and objectively weigh the advantages and disadvantages of going on Workshop. (Special thanks to Benjy Friedman for his contributions.)

 As you can see, there is one more pro than con, and since the table was painstakingly designed to apply generally to all kinds of chanichim, clearly going on Workshop is the more advantageous choice. 

Well, we still have the celebratory feast before we each head home with tears in our eyes and five pounds of pork in our stomachs. Then it's back to our families, schools, jobs, and local froyo establishments. But I'll always have a special place in my heart for Kvutsah 3.

THE END


Afterword:
Workshop may be over, but the stories will live forever through the power of internet journalism! Be sure to reread this blog, and share it with your friends, family, and children. On each rereading, you just might learn something about the strength of the Jewish people, and yourself.
- Maxwell Allman    

Workshop gets jobs

That's right folks, our time on the Workshop program is almost out and so is the money in our bank account! To be more precise, our bank account emptied last week, so that's why the Kibbutz elders kindly arranged a job for us at a nearby warehouse, sorting goods into different boxes. Hopefully the money from the warehouse will pull us through till the end, and we won't have to fire our yoga instructor and cancel our deliveries of imported Italian meats. Of course, I snapped a picture of all the hard work and fun! Tevye was complaining about this work not agreeing with our "values", so the Kibbutz elders made him stay back alone to think about his mistake. I guess he doesn't see the "value" in cold hard cash!

    

Workshop Abroad

Workshop 63 recently had the amazing opportunity to travel abroad and visit one of the epicentres of Jewish history and culture. That's right, Southern Florida! In addition to housing a population of hundreds of thousands of Jews, Florida has a long history of supporting Cuba and socialism. No wonder the trip to Florida is such a traditional staple in every Workshop year! Of course, I got some pictures of us soaking up the Northern Hemisphere rays.


Here's us posing under the shade of some Florida palm trees. I'm wearing my iconic Che Guevara hat to blend in with the locals. Not being identified as a tourist (like all my other kvutsah (club) members! Who's dorky now?!)  allowed me to have some wonderfully frank, albeit ideologically heated discussions with the locals, who mistook me as their own.  

We ain't in Israel anymore, so right from the beginning our madrichim (tour guides) stressed the important of affiliating oneself with the right gang. Here you can see Tzeitl and Yentl throwing up their "Bird" gang signs, with Michael in the back, who soon learns the hard way from some nearby youths to not "front in the Bird hood."

After this trip of a lifetime, we all made it back in one piece. Now we're back on the kibbutz, farming and arguing as usual. 

Workshop gets tattoed

As you probably know, tattoos are a traditional part of workshop. 63 was no different, as our madrichim (guardians) took us for our first trip to the tattoo parlour.

Here's a picture of workshoppers eagerly awaiting their turn with the ol' tattoo needle.

I managed to snag photos of some of the workshoppers rocking their new tats, including Tevye's portrait of Benjamin Netanyahu.

A day in the life

Ever wonder what we do all day here on the Kibbutz Chadar Ochell? Here is a seder yom (order of the day) for a typical seder (day) on Workshop, along with some commentary.

9:00 - Kima (Wake up)

9:15 - Aruchat Boker (Morning meal)
Served buffet style. They have yet to add any new fixin's to the omelette bar despite my request; so much for Habonim Dror's pillar of actualization!

10:00 - Avodah (Farming)
It's hard to get plants to grow in sand, but we make it work.

10:30 - Kibbud (Snack)
A well-deserved break from a morning of labour.

10:45 - Peulot (Debates)
A heated battle of wits. The best debaters get to go to Veida for the championship.

12:30 - Aruchat Tzohorayeem (Afternoon meal)
If you thought the choices at the omelette bar were disappointing, don't even get me started on the lunch time panini bar!

1:15 - Zman Balagan (LARPing time (Live Action Role Playing time))
The most beloved time of the day here on Workshop. I posted a picture of us LARPing earlier in the blog, hopefully I'll have some more pictures soon.

2:30 - Zman Habonim (Habonim time)
A structure for a validating process of values.

 3:15 - Kibbud Dos (Second snack)

3:30 - Zman Languages (Language time)
You get a choice between Hebrew, Yiddish and Esperanto lessons.

4:30 - Zman Chofshi (Free time)

6:30 - Aruchat Erev (Evening meal)
I don't want to be too negative, but don't think I haven't realized it's just the same four desserts alternating on a four day cycle!

7:15 - Tochnit Erev (Evening entertainment)
An elaborate activity run for the Workshoppers by the Kibbutzers with costumed characters, skits and activities, always ending with some educational message. 

9:30 - Lila Tov (Sleep)


So that's the schedule for most days on Workshop, unless we go on a field trip, like one of our many Menchie's runs. Other Workshoppers may offer a different interpretation of what we do when messaging their friends and families, but this blog will always have unbiased, reliable information.

It's time for dinner, so bye for now.

Factory Farming

Sorry for the long hiatus, but we've all been extremely busy. I know this information black-out must have been worrying, especially for all the parents who rely on this blog as the sole view into their children's life. That is why I've resolved to revitalize the blog, and once again have frequent entries.

This is a picture I took on the Kibbutz of some workshoppers trying to play with the calves, moments before being bitten. (Sorry Mom and Dad that I'm not in this one, because I'm behind the camera.)

Now I don't quite understand how factory beef farming is consistent with our ideals, but it's a taboo subject to bring up so I keep my questions to myself. I don't want a repeat of what happened to Abraham last year. Fingers crossed that none of the Kibbutz Elders read my blog!

We've been working on a music video, which is currently in post-production. Hopefully it will be completed and posted on the blog in a couple of weeks, so stay tuned.

Visit to Kibbutz Ein Rand

Over the last few days, we have been learning about the Kibbutz crisis, and the restructuring of Kibbutzim. To help us see this change for ourselves, we visited Kibbutz Ein Rand. For those who don't know, Ein Rand has deviated substantially from the socialist values of the original Kibbutz movement. Like many current Kibbutzim, Ein Rand has privatized, and wages are not needs-based.

We met the kids from Camp Hatikva on their Shnat (year off) program, who are staying at Ein Rand. After a short time we fell into an ideological debate. One of the Habos stated that collective living is the most moral way to to live, because each person can help to ensure the happiness and well-being of others. This prompted one of the Hatikva Shnatties to respond: "Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity, since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values." After some more arguing, and the Shnatties angrily declaring: "Reason is not automatic. Those who deny it cannot be conquered by it. Do not count on them. Leave them alone," we decided to ease the tension and have a game of basketball. The Hatikva Shnatties were very competitive, but were ultimately hindered by their lack of passing.

Field Trip!

The surprise trip was to none other than the frozen yogurt dispensary, Menchies! I don't think this trip would have happened if it were not for the lobbying efforts of a certain Menchies fanatic in the kvutsah (I'll give you a hint: his name rhymes with Larry Steel Man).

Here's a picture of Harry Freeman, Matan Reshef and Michael Eidelson. Harry is wearing his Habonim Dror chultzah (uniform), and Matan and Michael are wearing some Menchies swag they bought.

A great time was had by all, and after we were thoroughly loaded up with fro-yo (frozen yogurt), we headed back to the kibutz.

Muscle Farm

So what exactly are we harvesting on Kibutz Chadar Ochell? For Asher, Jacob Faber, and myself, it's been muscle! This months reaping has certainly been a bumper crop, as can been seen in this picture.

We are having a competition to see who can be the most muscular by the end of Workshop. I'll let you be the judge of who's in the lead so far.

Now I know what you're thinking: "Max is just going to say that there isn't going to be a Kvutsah 3 Bash this year, even though it happens every year." First of all: no need to keep your thoughts to yourself. Post a comment on the blog! Secondly, fortunately for you, I don't expect my fellow Workshoppers to read this blog (why would they, I'm on Workshop with them!), so I can give you the full low-down. Currently we have several themes being considered, each with their own passionate supporters. Morty and Tzeitel are vying for the position of Rosh (boss); hopefully this won't damage their friendship. Despite the conflict, I believe this experience will help us grow as a Kvutsah.

I've been getting increasingly frustrated during peulot, as I'm such a strong post-modernist, and my kvutsah members have such black and white, modernist views. But I suppose it's all part of the Workshop experience, and anyways, who am I to say anyone else's opinion is wrong?

That's all for now. We were told to pack our bags for a surprise trip tomorrow, so stay tuned!  

Oct. 19th

Another tough but rewarding day on the kibbutz. During the heat of the day we had our peulah, which I won today by out-debating Tevye on the issue of one versus two state solutions. So far I'm sporting a 75% success rate, second only to Morty.

As promised, here's a picture from on the kibbutz:

I'm the one on the top right. We're hanging out on the tractor we bought on our communal kupah (bank account), right before our LARPing fight with Habo Denmark. The tractor really came in handy for the battle, and led to our decisive victory. The blonde guy in the middle of the picture is Magnus, a Dane who defected to our team.

Previously, on Workshop 63...

I know I'm starting this blog quite a bit after the start of Workshop, so I'll make it up to you by doing a quick recap.

A week after arriving in Israel, we received our Kvutsot (co-workers). I was put in Kvutsa 3, which I was glad about because I was with a bunch of people I befriended from MBI bus 12. The first week was in Jerusalem, where we toured around. It is an amazing city. The thing everyone noticed first was how polite everyone was, and with the exorbitant allowance we got we could do/buy anything we wanted. Once we received our Kvutsot, we bussed to Kibutz Chadar Ochell, to have peulot (arguments) and do lots of avodah (farming).

Now let me say something about the food: they should call it PORKshop, 'cause of the sheer volume of meat we are getting! (No actual pork, it's a Jewish nation, remember). They call it the land of milk and honey, but its more like the land of steak and turkey! Many Workshoppers are taking advantage of the protein surplus, and starting work-out routines.

The weather is hot and dry. This has been true every day, and will be true for every future day.

Of course, there is plenty more to say, but that's enough for now. I hope to upload some pictures soon.

Introduction

Concerned with the level of journalistic integrity in the other Workshop blogs, and noticing a distinct lack of any blogs from Kvutsah 3, I have decided to start my own blog.

Here's what you can expect from this blog. It will give you the inside scoop on all the kvustah 3 happenings. I'll keep inside jokes to a minimum. I'll translate any Hebrew I use. And I'll give a hard-hitting, critical, descriptive, emotional account of Workshop 63 affairs.

For ease of access, I would recommend making this blog your homepage. You could also just bookmark it, but that will be slower.

Feel free to give your feedback, and ask questions! I would be more than happy to answer any question about Workshop 63, no matter how detailed.

It's time for toranut (cooking), so bye for now!